Eat, Cry, Write: Divorce and Solo Travel

Words and Images by Julia York, screenwriter and writing coach. Follow Julia on Instagram.

I recently decided to follow in the footsteps of a much more famous Julia (Roberts) and embark on a solo trip of self-discovery in Portugal for three weeks.

Only instead of "Eat, Pray, Love," I deemed my trip "Eat, Cry, Write." As a professional screenwriter, starting my entire life over in my mid-30s after divorce, my version felt more realistic.

Here's what nobody tells you about solo traveling -- the days are transformative, the nights are lonely, and any travel mishap is amplified because you're on your own to fix it. So, between the eating and writing, there were definitely a lot of tears.

When I almost got kicked off the train to Porto because I had accidentally booked my tickets for the wrong day? Instant waterworks. On my fifteenth consecutive night of eating every meal alone? Had a bit of a pity party. And when a pair of street performers in Lisbon launched into their rendition of "Hey, Jude," a song that played a very special part in my wedding, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in the public toilet at the wildly popular St. John's festival. 

But despite the occasional breakdown, being in Portugal on this solo trip felt so incredibly right. In this new season of my life, I often feel like I don't fit anywhere.

Suddenly becoming single at 35 has meant leaving the phase of life that all of my friends and peers just entered. It can be isolating and destabilizing, and I often feel like the place I physically am isn't where I want to be. 

Yet, even in the moments of discomfort or sadness or loneliness on my "Eat, Cry, Write" trip, I never felt like I didn't fit. Whether I was having a glass of wine along the river in Porto or writing from a local cafe in Cascais or even wiping my tears on a lonely evening stroll through Lisbon, I always felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  

So much of the past year was like life happened to me. It's been a constant barrage of plot twists and jump scares... which may work well in the scripts I write, but can be tough to navigate in real life.

My "Eat, Cry, Write" trip to Portugal gave me the opportunity to make life happen for myself, for the first time in a long time.

Taking a solo trip gave me the courage to rewrite my own story... and I can't wait to see what happens next.