Long Distance Love Stories Ep. 5

Episode 5 of our Long Distance Love Stories Series: An “Arranged Marriage” (Kind Of)

So… how did you two first meet?

We actually met through our families when we were 14. Our parents worked together and thought it would be fun for our younger sisters to do a kind of “domestic exchange”—visiting each other’s cities and schools.

That’s how we ended up meeting. Sy came to New Orleans for dinner at Calder’s house, and Calder remembers being completely awestruck the second she walked up the steps. Meanwhile, Sy was equally impressed… mostly because Calder was cooking a full meal from scratch at 14.

Wait—where does the “arranged marriage” joke come from?

Our little sisters.

They became best friends during those visits and—completely seriously—decided we should get married someday. They even made “wedding invitations” when they were kids.

So we always joke: we’re an arranged marriage… just not by our parents—by our little sisters.

Did you stay in touch after that?

On and off over the years. We’d see each other occasionally through family connections, but nothing ever happened romantically.

Still, there was always something in the background. Sy has said that if she had to pick someone to marry, even back then, she would’ve picked Calder—even though they weren’t dating.

So what finally changed?

About 10 years later, Calder randomly reached out.

He had to re-download Instagram just to DM Sy because his texts weren’t going through while she was abroad in Spain. That message kicked everything off—we started sending voice notes back and forth for a couple of months.

When Sy came back to the U.S., her family had a trip planned near Atlanta (where Calder was living). She invited him to join—and that weekend was basically the start of everything.

You started long distance right away?

Yep. After that trip, we were all in.

We knew pretty quickly that if we were going to date, it would be serious. So we committed to doing long distance for about a year while we both stayed in our respective cities—Los Angeles and Atlanta.

How did you make long distance actually work?

A few big things:

• Always having the next visit planned.
  Knowing when we’d see each other next made everything feel manageable.

• Frequent travel (on a budget).
  We flew every couple of weeks—lots of budget airlines, travel credit cards, and teacher schedules helped make it doable.

• Voice notes over constant texting.
  That was huge for us. It felt more personal and natural than texting all day.

• Intentional time together—even apart.
  We’d plan things like “phone dinner dates” where we’d eat and talk at the same time.

• Protecting quality time when together.
  When we were in the same place, we really focused on being present.

What was the hardest part?

Fridays.

That end-of-week feeling—wanting to unwind together but being apart—was the toughest. Also, constantly telling each other about life instead of experiencing it together got tiring.

What kept you connected emotionally?

Little things.

Photos, keepsakes, and especially a handmade bracelet Sy gave Calder. He even wore it while teaching, and his students eventually figured out they were dating—which led to a very dramatic (and adorable) classroom reveal.

When did you know this was “it”?

Honestly… almost immediately.

Within the first weekend of dating, we had conversations about long-term plans—like buying a home together. It wasn’t a gradual realization; it felt clear from the start that this was something serious.

What do you love most about each other?

Sy:
Calder’s work ethic. Watching how much he cares—especially in his teaching—made me want to grow and give more in my own life.

Calder:
Sy makes me lighter. I’m way sillier, more playful, and just happier around her than I’ve ever been.

Where are you now?

We live together now.

We’re not officially engaged yet—but we talk about the future like it’s already happening.

Final thoughts: any advice for long-distance couples?

• Find a communication style that actually works for you

• Don’t force constant contact if it doesn’t feel natural

• Make time intentional, even when you’re apart

• And most importantly—have a plan for being in the same place eventually